Thursday, May 29, 2014
Rescue Prince Charming
Well here I come, Charming, armed with words and my righteous indignation.
My husband and I just returned from watching "Maleficent," and while there is an entire post I could devote to the giant missed opportunity that was this film, that's not what I'm here to rant about. I'm taking on a larger issue, here. The problem is that I saw Prince Charming's death coming from a mile away, and as soon as I realized what they were going to do with his true love's kiss, I nearly chucked my box of Raisinettes at the projector.
Let me clarify: Prince Phillip did not die in this movie. But his importance did.
And his true love's kiss has not been the only one to be pushed aside for more politically correct, palatable types of love. Frozen just did it. Brave did it. The Princess and the Frog did it. And that's just recent Disney. Lots of other books and movies seem to be in love with this idea that its weak for a woman to depend on the love she has for a man. Eat, Pray, Love told women that you should love yourself entirely and completely before you let a man love you. The prevailing message in many books and romantic movies even, is that women shouldn't rely on the love of a man to love themselves. That they don't need a man to feel whole.
But what if you do?
What in the world is wrong with a woman feeling more complete with a man?
I feel like Hollywood and media in general have suddenly become afraid to portray a scenario where a woman is a better person because of her love for a man. It's like they fear if they show that a princess really did need the prince to come and kiss her that they are belittling the princess.
But can't they both need each other equally desperately?
He waltzed into the lunch room as a transfer student, and the minute I saw that cool swagger he had, I fell head over heels. We were friends at first, and then at the ages of 16 and 17, we fell in love. And I suddenly had all the confidence in the world. This hot guy thought I was pretty? Thought I was smart? Thought I was precious?
It made me feel on top of the world.
Did I need his love to make me a better, happier person?
A thousand times yes! And I still do, many years, a marriage, and three kids later. I need my man. And I'm not afraid to say it. He is a good man who treasures me, and reminds me every single day how beautiful I am inside and out. And you know what? I'm willing to bet there are millions of women and girls who are a lot like me.
I think the problem we have in our world is that bad men lie to good women. They use their woman's need for love and abuse it. They abuse those beautiful women, and we look at that and say, "Why did you rely on him? You're so lovely. You don't need that bad man to tell you that."
I've seen enough abuse first hand to realize how heart-rending it is. I can see why a woman in that situation would need to run away and find herself without someone else telling her how incredible she is. I wouldn't blame them a bit. I would hug them and tell them that indeed, they are so precious and loved, and they do NOT need that man to tell her that for her to know it.
But not every love is like that. Sometimes it really is a fairy tale. Sometimes those people really do make each other better, happier, more confident. Sometimes leaning on a man is a beautiful thing, and because of the ugliness that frightens us so much, we shy away from admitting that relying on a man could be a good thing.
And isn't that what a fairy tale is? A fairy tale is a story about the good love. It's a story about how
Hollywood--it's okay to write stories about that. Disney--it's okay if the princess really does get saved by Prince Charming. It's okay if his love saves her.
It's nice to see movies about different kinds of love, and I had all the warm fuzzy feels after watching Frozen. The love I have for my sister is something I hold very dear. But I wanted it to be said that fairy tale love isn't going to get old. And maybe some will scoff at it and scorn it, but in the hearts of young girls everywhere, I think we're always going to wish for a love that makes us happy. I don't think that's a bad thing.
Bad men do bad things. But that doesn't mean that love is to blame.
Let Prince Charming give her love's true kiss! Let him be her other half.